Thursday, May 04, 2006

Ten Seconds On Puree

I'm not a big fan of Blender magazine, or many other music publications for that matter (although I've apparently got the never-ending subscription to Rolling Stone. What was supposed to be five free issues with the purchase of some Garbage tickets way back when has morphed into something else entirely. They won't stop showing up in my mailbox. I'm starting to get a little ashamed. Think of all the wasted trees. Oh yeah... the post... sorry) but their recent list of The 50 Worst Things Ever To Happen To Music has got some absolute delights. I know - I did enough ranting about music a few posts ago, but the timing of this lists' publication was just impeccable. It would have been a sin not to include it (Read: I'm still pretending to be busy and this provides as good an excuse as any to post something designed to divert your attention elsewhere.) Among my favorites:

#21) Nearly Every Hip Hop Video: We get it. Your ride is pimped, your crib is a castle and at the drop of an ice-encrusted hat, you can have tons of scantily clad ho's pouring bottles of Cristal down your gullet while you kick it in the hot tub. Congratulations to a generation of hip-hop video directors for making decadence seem so … boring.

#11) "You Really Have To See Them Live": First heard muttered by a proselytizing GRATEFUL DEAD fan sometime around minute 13 of the studio version of 'Terrapin Station, Pt. 1,' this reflexive, defensive cry has long been used as an excuse for the existence of reams of irretrievably dull PHISH, WIDESPREAD PANIC and MOE. records. If your studio albums feel limp compared with your live show, don't put them out.


#49) The Dude That Yells "Freebird" At Every Concert: No explanation needed.

Nothing is sacred either. Take a look at what landed at #50.

So yeah, the list was obviously made in jest, but if you ask me they said some things that desperately needed to be said. Holla!


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