Sunday, May 14, 2006

Shiver In My Bones

Today (Mothers Day, so don't forget to call or pay a visit to that wonderful woman and tell her how awesome she is. Gifts work well too) marks the eleventy millionth day in a row that Boston has had overcast skies and torrential rains. Areas in northern Massachusetts and southern New Hampshire are up to their eyeballs in water. Alright, a slight exagerration, but in some towns like Peabody (Sherman, set the Wayback Machine to any fucking day when there was actual sunshine) it is waist deep in places.

Closer to home - as in "in my bedroom" - there's a steady drip coming from the ceiling and into a kitchen size Tupperware(tm) waste basket. After a quick glance, I'd estimate there's probably about four inches or so collected in there over a period of two days, with a good bit more on the way if our fair meteorologists are to be believed. This is unfortunate, but not altogether unexpected. My bedroom ceiling has been dripping for the past three years. My roommate/landlord recently spent a goodly amount to get it fixed. Up the contractors came, slapped down some tar, and down they went. No dice. One storm later and my bedroom was still a shrine to Poseidon. So roommate/landlord guy (who shall heretofore be known as "Marty" - because, you know, that's his name) made a follow-up phone call. Up the contractors (who shall heretofore be known as "hacks" - because, you know, that's what they appear to be) came, slapped down even more tar, covering the entire roof this time, and down they went. After attempt #2 it looked as if the problem was fixed. Several Nor'Easters came depositing large amounts of water, yet there was nary a drop to be seen inside my palace of love and slumber. Hooray! Problem solved, right? Nope. Those earlier storms were merely the PSAT's to this weekends SAT, and my ceiling appears to have done poorly on the mathematics portion of the test.


Forgive me. That has to be one of the worst analogies EVER written. Really. I'm not quite sure where it came from, either, but please accept my most humble apologies. If you feel you must stop reading at this point, I won't blame you, but I assure you I'll work tirelessly to prevent such horrific prose in the future.


Anyway, not only did this mother of a storm bring water to my bedroom ceiling, but there is a slightly less frequent drip coming in through the kitchen ceiling as well. Right through the light fixture. Yikes. I suspect Marty will be calling up hack central a 3rd time to see if they still have any tricks up their sleeve. In the meantime, plenty of buckets are in use, with still more at the ready.

You might expect me to be pissed. After all, three years of my own personal bedroom spigot is enough to enrage any man. But thankfully no, I'm fairly even-keeled about the whole thing. Chalk it up as one of those "these things happen" moments. In fact, this type of shit happens everywhere. It's one of the reasons Home Depot does so well. Every place I've ever lived in has had its' issues and a leaky roof just happens to be the issue here. And really, this is one WHOPPER of a storm. I mean, it's certainly no Katrina or anything, but I'm sure I'm not the only person with a leaky apartment. It will get fixed... eventually. In the meantime, we've got buckets on the floor collecting leaks that are thankfully in relatively out of the way areas... Alright, so the center of the kitchen isn't exactly out of the way, but it's easily walked around. This apartment is a nice one, and I don't mind the slight inconvenience.

It has been rainy as hell though, and for lots of people, that means staying cooped up inside the apartment and going a little stir crazy. Thankfully, we are not without diversions. We can:
See? Liquid sunshine. Or not. But if you're still bored, I presume it's because you have no soul. I, on the other hand, am trying to wrestle mine back from hell, so you're lucky enough to get this post and a smile. Now that it's done, and I'm at a loss for a witty ending, it's back to sopping up puddles on the kitchen floor. Bye!


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