Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Vader Bars

Today boys and girls, we're going to talk about two subjects I know little about. Why? Because I'm busy and it offers me an excuse not to delve into them too thoroughly.

The first comes from the pages of Fark - one of my favorite time killers. Why am I killing time when I'm supposed to be busy? Never you mind, heathen. I'll just say that I have a lunch break too.......... Yeah, huh.

Anyway, you're familiar with the current energy bar phenomenon? I don't eat 'em, but I know plenty of people that do. I always thought it a bit absurd, to be honest. I mean, if you want to pay $3.00 a pop for a well-marketed candy bar that's your deal. Personally, I'd rather spend my money on Gap jeans, Nike shoes, Nautica baseball caps, Abercrombie & Fitch T-shirts, Champion socks, Motorola phones, and Apple iPods. But apparently, the energy bar industry has taken off because now even the Department of Defense wants to stake their claim... HooAH! bars, available in military markets for some time, will now be unleashed on the rest of the country. Not sure what sets them apart from other energy bars but the following quote gives us a clue:
"The prevailing thought was that to be good, it must have to taste bad. In addition to the less than acceptable flavor, most energy bars didn't have the shelf life. We wanted something to bring value to the warfighter." --Gerald Darsch, Combat Feeding director.
Huh. Well, I'll be. Value to the warfighter? Do they contain gunpowder? Eh.. nevermind. In all seriousness, they do look as if they provide a good quick boost of energy - and after perusing some of the Fark threads, it's all too apparent that the different flavor possibilities are endless. Among the suggested names:

Weaponized Nougat, Agent CranOrange, Tell it To The Meringues, Caramel Quagmire, Humveenilla.... (Yikes. Don't shoot me - I'm just the messenger....... Oh, who am I kidding? The messenger always gets shot.)

The last thing I'll say on this is that I have a brother-in-law who is former Army and is constantly using this "HooAH!" term in casual conversation. Now I finally know what it means (heard, understood, and acknowledged) - although I have a feeling if I were to ask him personally he'd tell me it actually stood for something a bit more obscene and not suitable for print.

Topic #2? Completely unrelated, but this new Star Wars movie that's coming out soon. I don't get it. Darth Vader is on the cover of Time Magazine. CNN and other media outlets are devoting large amounts of airtime to it. Is there something I'm missing? Doesn't everyone know how it's going to end anyway? I was never a huge Star Wars devotee, but I always appreciated the films - well, the first three anyway (or are they the last three? The first three that were made - before the current tril.... Jesus, nevermind - you know what I mean.) But the last two? As soon as they introduced Jar Jar Binks and an Anakin character who couldn't act - well, I threw up my hands. Frankly, I'm not expecting this final installment to be much better. Why do I mention all this? Because if you're willing to look outside the Star Wars media machine, you'll find the good stuff - even if it's not been given the seal of approval. Thaaaat's right, everyone. Darth Vader has a blog. It's a good one too. Not only do he and I share the same template and sidebar font, but we have an equal disdain for... well, I'm not sure. But, check it out.... there are portions of it that had me laughing out loud at my desk - a rare thing indeed. Toodles.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Tomorrow I may strangle General Veers."

5:51 PM  
Blogger Eric said...

Hilarious... I'm also partial to the entry where he and Boba Fett are dining together.

7:44 PM  
Blogger Eric said...

Sara - you ARE aware that in this blog there is text highlighted in blue? Those are called links. You click on this highlighted text (or link) to either download the file or bring you to the website the text describes. So - in this case, you would click the highlighted text that says "Darth Vader has a blog" and voila! - you're there. Enjoy.

2:30 PM  

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