Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Radio Days

I was on the radio again yesterday. My resurgence has begun. No, it wasn't anything like my glory years when I was the man behind the voice. You know - the guy who said, "All Jordan's Furniture stores, including the fabulous Natick store are open tonight until 10!" or "Change your whole latitude with Corona Extra or Corona Light. It's the perfect lattitude adjustment when you're looking for fun. Pick up Corona wherever you buy beer!" (Often voiced in a stereotypical Mexican accent, much to the boss' displeasure.) Nope - this time I was merely a civilian caller picked to play a four question trivia game on WFNX (that's 101.7 for you illiterates.) The premise is simple.. answer four trivia questions correctly and win the prize. Anyone who knows me also knows that I'm a wealth of useless information (trivia) and that I would put Cliff Claven to shame, particularly when it comes to pop music.

So, when they announced the contest on my drive home from work, I figured "What the hell. Talking on a cell phone and driving at the same time never hurt anybody." The line rang busy the first couple of attempts but on the 4th or 5th it actually rang through. As is typical in the radio industry, the DJ picked it up and then immediately placed the call on hold. Two minutes later he picks it up again, and without even saying anything as much as 'Hello' fires into the questions....

DJ: 'FNX - Who wrote The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy?

Me: Douglas Adams (Any geek knows that.)

DJ: Correct. What celebrity is Tom Cruise cuurently dating?

Me: Katie Holmes!! (See?!?! It pays to read this blog. If you don't know what I'm talking about, click here.)

DJ: Nice! What is the name of the new Nine Inch Nails album thats out tomorrow?

Me: Oh, s***! (Yes, I mistakenly said that on-air - thankfully there's a delay.) Um... hold on. Hold on. The Hand That Feeds!!! The Hand That Feeds!!!

DJ: NO!! *click*

And that was it. THAT was my literal two seconds of fame... I was pissed. What do you mean, no? Of course it's called The Hand That Feeds! You've been playing the damn thing all week! Realizing that I wasn't actually speaking to anyone I exited my now parked car, stomped upstairs to my apartment, and got online to confirm what I had already known. The name of the new Nine Inch Nails album was indeed.... "With Teeth."

Oooops. My wounded ego is still stinging, folks. Not only did I answer the question incorrectly ('The Hand That Feeds' is the name of the first single off the album), but it was the one question I should've gotten right over all the others. I never did find out what question #4 was (I think it was something related to the current Celtics/Pacers playoff series) but as it happens, I only missed out on what was a less than stellar prize pack. Among the items:
  • Tickets to go see House of Wax - the new lame-ass horror film starring Paris Hilton - in Lowell.
  • Tickets to go see Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy - anywhere.
  • A copy of Area 51 - some new game for X-Box - which I don't own.
  • Something else which I forget, but is equally as lame.
So really - it wasn't a total loss. Still, keep your ears peeled (is that possible? Eyes? Ears? What does it mean to keep them peeled? Sounds fairly gross.) One of these days you may hear me again. I'll be biding my time, ready to reclaim past glory. After all, Lowell is waiting.


Blogger Sean said...

Oh! Sorry to hear that Eric. Missed it with the NIN question. Shame. There'll be another try in your future, I'm sure.

And nice job with the Cliff Claven reference. When he's on Jeopardy is easily my favorite Cheers episode just for the "Who are people who have never been in my kitchen" response.

9:41 PM  
Blogger Eric said...

Yes indeed. That is perhaps one of the funniest lines in all of sitcom television... and I hadn't thought about it in at least five years until you just mentioned it. Thank you, sir.

10:17 PM  

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