Birfday Thanx

Today's Boston Globe Birthday Horoscope: You have a lot to contend with this year. Step up and take responsibility for whatever situation you find yourself in. This is not the year to complain, overreact or put the blame elsewhere. Deal with any dilemma or situation you face so you can let go of the past and move into the future. Your numbers are 11, 16, 23, 30, 44, 49.

Today's Boston Herald Birthday Horoscope: You have all you need to move into this beautiful new phase of your life. The magic that happens in July is that you're embraced by the very person you want most to accept you. A golden goal is in hand in December. Capricorn and Aquarius adore you. Your lucky numbers are 11, 19, 45, 28 and 13.


I knew there was a reason I'd read the Herald all these years. What can I say? They're a sensationalist, 3rd grade level tabloid style publication that borders on yellow journalism, but I like the book style layout with the single fold down the middle as opposed to gatefold the Globe has. That, and they have better horoscopes. What? You expected I'd read a newspaper for the actual news? Please.

So, yes, it's my birthday today. Feel free to send presents. Although, truth be told, I just felt like writing a little something because it's been a while and I'm in a grateful sort of mood. Now, I'll try not to get all sappy on you. It's just that this particular birthday - 33 - is, for whatever reason, one I've been looking forward to. Alright... that's not exactly true. It isn't "whatever" reason. It's actually a really stupid one. You see, 3 is my lucky number. In fact, if you believe Schoolhouse Rock (and later Blind Melon) it's actually a magic number! I was lucky enough to have been born on the 3rd (as was my sister, albeit six years ahead of me. Happy Birthday, M!) and so lucky number it became. Now, when I was 3 years old, I couldn't really comprehend all this. Further, I think the chances of my living to 333 are pretty remote. Therefore, if there was ever a time to celebrate good luck, this year would be it.

It got off to a great start, even before the actual day (ignore the obvious error in that last sentence. You know what I mean.) I came home to my apartment last Wednesday to find a bevy of friends, family and girlfriend all waiting for me - surprises at the ready. Turns out Goof, completely unbeknownst to me, had planned the whole soiree a good month or so beforehand. Let me tell you, there are few things better than coming home to lots of loving smiles, Blue Ribbon BBQ, and Blue Frog birthday cake. Think she's something special? Well, yes. Yes, she is.

And, really, that's what it's all about. Horoscopes, as fun as they are to try and find meaning in, are largely bullshit, and it doesn't matter whether I'm turning 33, 12, or 84. Birthday's come with an inevitable dose of self-reflection and this year, not only can I do so without regret or angst, but, more importantly with hope and love. That's due largely to those people I mentioned before. The people, incidentally, who read this blog. In other words, you folks - which brings me back to the real reason for this post. Mainly, that I'm a very lucky and grateful dude who owes you all a huge amount of thanks. And, who knows? 33 may turn out to be fairly kick-ass like the Herald says, or it may be more challenging, if you believe the Globe. I've had both types of years, and really, that's just the ups and downs and cyclical nature of life in general. Either way, it winds up a whole lot better with people like you around. So, thanks everybody!

Now, anyone care to join me in playing some Wii? I got TWO games in this years haul. Man, I'm lucky...

More Thoughts From The Dark Recesses

Some random musings from a mind suffering from lack of use over a long weekend. The purpose of this exercise is simply to jump start things a little bit. As I think it, so I'll write it. If there's a link in there, it's something that I thought of while writing and decided to add it after the post was finished.

• I really hope I don't write anything profane or pornographic. That would be highly embarrassing.
• Stop thinking that way. The more determined you are to not think about those types of things, the more likely they are to be thought about.
• Stop it.
• Nope - you're not allowed.
• If you build it, they will come (do NOT read into that, folks.)
• Red Sox are tearin' the cover off the ball. Go'head, boys! Swing that stick!
  
• Jesus Christ.
• See? Now we're on the right track. Religious thought. No way religion, sex and bad words could all mix it up.
  
• Oh... nevermind.
• If runners score as a result of an error, does it still count as an RBI for the batter?
• Yawn. Yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn.
• What did I do this weekend? Well, I saw Superbad. That was good. I had dinner with my Pops. That was good too. Who knew Ruby Tuesday had become more upscale? It was actually a very decent meal and salad bar. I went to the batting cages and ate Rocky Road ice cream! I'm sore as a result of the former... still. But, I very much enjoyed the latter. Gorgeous weather, too. See? The weekend wasn't a total loss.
• Long distance information, gimme Memphis, Tennessee. Tryin' to find the party trying to get in touch with me.
• You know I'm going to Memphis this week? Actually I'm going to Nashville, and from there I'll drive to Memphis. Why? Goof's got a wedding to go to, and I get to be her 'and guest' (benefits of being a boyfriend and all...) She's a bridesmaid... and apparently the bride actually has some taste. We will not be going to a wedding in which the bridal party look like a bunch of lettuce leaves.
• Just started Season 5 of 24. How much more can they do with this show? Have I reached the point of desensitization? Jack Bauer must be ready to pass out. Am I gonna enjoy this as much as previous seasons?
• You know what I love? This picture of the Last Supper with cartoon characters from Popeye replacing all the major players. I love Popeye. I really love old Popeye, circa 1920's and 30's. Sometimes I think I'd like to travel back in time and live back then. It seemed a much more simple and enjoyable life. And God knows, the music was better. Plus, I could still smoke and not have any idea it would be killing me. But then, I wouldn't get to see the Red Sox win a World Series, and there'd be no World of Warcraft. Still, I bet I could hang. Hell, I'd probably make a fortune. Or not.
• You know why else I like Popeye. I really dig anchors.
• Dammit! Well folks, I lied. But not on purpose. I got interrupted by my roommate who wanted to have a lengthy conversation on various spectator sports. I tried to give one word answers and drop a few hints. Didn't work. BUT, I'm back now. And in full effect.
• I love it when you call me Big Poppa! Throw your hands in the air...
• Wait, what the hell? I hate that song. Thanks Notorious B.I.G. You're a dick.
• Goof keeps IM'ing me and asking to see an advance copy of the blog post - you know, because it's been so long since I've posted and she's anxious to see something new up here. I told her she has to wait like the rest of the commoners (her words, not mine.) She wasn't pleased. She accused me of being grumpy (in a roundabout way), and said she should get special privileges. This post doesn't lend itself to that. You can't show someone an advance copy of a stream of consciousness post. That's ridiculous. She'll see once she reads it. She'll understand. Sheesh. It's a good thing she makes me laugh.
• I can't... stop.... yawning.
• I don't want to go to work tomorrow. Work is a struggle. Has been for months. Not struggle as in, "This is hard" but struggle as in "I really don't want to get started on any of this." Makes me wonder if I'm in the right line of work... but then, I don't have any better alternatives at the moment. Any ideas, folks?
• I could be a professional baseball player. Some of these people don't look very good. Plus, you should have seen me at the batting cages. I was foulin' off pitch after pitch, and even hittin' some on the fast setting!
• If you were a musician, what kind of musician would you be? I think I'd like to play the drums, but then again everyone wants to play the drums. I could sing! Maybe. I wouldn't want to be a flutist, though. Maybe the recorder? The triangle?
• I've been wearing sandals a lot lately. Very unlike me, but I'm finding them rather comfortable which is indeed surprising. When I was younger, my feet would get scratched to shit every time I wore sandals. Made me look negatively on them for some time. It made me wonder why Moses, Jesus, the disciples and all those bad boys made them their footwear of choice. Didn't they get nasty, scratchy feet? Didn't it sting when the sand got in there? Yuck.
• I've started waking up really early and going to the gym before work. It makes me feel better to have worked out first thing, and I don't have to worry about it when I get home. However, I don't think I'll be doing this tomorrow, because I want to stay up a little later than usual, and I'm still sore from the batting cages. See how easy it is to talk yourself out of it? Pathetic.
• 1,2,3 o'clock, 4 o'clock rock.
• I have had WAYYYY too much water today and now I am utterly sodden with drink. I keep having to go to the bathroom. You probably didn't need to know that but hey, am I honest or am I honest?
• Goof just interrupted me again. Waiting for me to publish this thang. Guess I shouldn't keep her waiting any longer. Man, am I whipped!
• Alright, how do I end this?
• Maybe I just end it.
• Maybe I say goodbye.
• Nah, too final.
• Well, hope you enjoyed everyone! No sex, religion, or bad words here today!
• Whatever. That was a lie. I was foolin' y'all.
• Now, I'm just being annoying
• I kinda like it.
• Fine. O.K. O.K. O.K. Fine. I'm finishing up.
• BYE!
• For now!
• *wave*

I Think, Therefore... I Think.

The jury is still out on this whole Clicky thing... or at least they don't have enough information to write a blog post about it yet. So far, this place has gotten a good number of hits, but in terms of people finding this blog via search engine... well, the results are decidedly more blah. A whopping two people found Murky Words as the result of a search. One person went searching for "ying-yang" and found my post from eons ago talking about tattoo's. The other person searched for "common noun plural english singular letter cartalk quiz" - and I'm not sure what they found, exactly. So, that's that. Could be worse - someone could have searched for "horny Boston leather gimp" and ended up here, in which case I'd have to cease all posts forthwith. Thankfully, that's not the case, but since I'm now out a reason to post, I figured it was time for another episode of my random thoughts.

¿Listo? Emmmmpieze.

• Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin! He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways. Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!*
• Oscars are on tonight, but unfortunately, due to a previous engagement, I shan't be able to watch them. That's OK. I don't like the Academy anyway. I don't even know who the Academy are. Do they even exist? Who are these masked men, and why do their selections often suck? I call foul. Lying sacks of sh--. Why don't you vote on something worthwhile? Leave me alone.
• The sun's in my eyes! The SUN is IN my EYES! I feel like a mogwai. Bright Light! Bright Light! Bah. Screw it. I'm too lazy to move my computer. Guess I'll go blind while basking in it's rays.
• I've rediscovered grapefruit. Seriously, do you have any idea how good grapefruit are? I had one this morning for breakfast, and MAN, was it good. Thank YOU, Father Grapefruit, and thank you for letting us consume your children.
• I'm goin', I'm goin', I'm goin' back to NOLA. w00t!
• Perhaps I'm taking this whole personal finance thing a little too far. I actually clipped coupons this morning. You can just go ahead and start calling me Barbara Billingsley (oh, but pardon me stewardess, I speak jive.)
• He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken; To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away; And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!*
• My roommate is currently blackening catfish and using a mixture of spices that he created as a rub. Smells delicious, but Holy Smoke - literally! I'm coughing up a storm. And now, the fire alarm has just gone off. Perfect. Is this how they do it down south?
• Bought another cookbook! This time it's How To Cook Everything by Mark Bittman. I have a friend who really knows how to cook (she even knows how to sweat the aromatics) and SHE tells me that his books are worth every penny. I know, I know... I don't need to buy cookbooks when so many resources are available online (a la foodtv.com) but still, between Ted and Mark and foodtv, I'll be an Iron Chef in no time. So there. Wonder if this new book teaches you how to blacken catfish.
  
• I just did a load of laundry, and you know how sometimes you just have a bit too much for the dryer, so when you take the clothes out they're mostly dry but still slightly damp? Yeah, that's what just happened. Anyway, I hate that.
• Alright, I love my Red Sox and all, but this extended spring training coverage has gone a little too far. Somebody wake me when the regular season starts. Oh, and konichiwa, Matsuzaka-san!
• I'll be dining at The Cheesecake Factory tonight. Yummmm... Wonder what I should have? Maybe blackened catfish. *cough*
• I'll have a few hours to kill between the time I finish this blog post and the time I have to head out to dinner. Maybe I'll start 'Great Expectations.'
• Why are there braille instructions on drive through ATM's?
• Why are cartoon dogs so stupid? I mean, think about it. Astro, Scooby-Doo, Dino, Snively, Courage. They're all idiots. And not funny. Seriously, "Ro-Ray, Raggy! Oooh, Scrooby Snacks!" Who thinks that's funny? You? Get a life. Oh, wait. Mr. Peabody was pretty smart. Never mind, then. You're cool.
• Speaking of dogs, there's a rumor going around that Rolf from the Muppets is gay. Can't substantiate it one way or another, though.
• Q: How do you kill a circus? A: Go for the juggler. (Who the hell thinks that's funny? Me? Get a life.)
• His head smashed in and his heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped, and his bottom burned off, and his pen-*
  
• THAT'S quite enough, there. There's dirty work afoot!*

*Stolen from 'The Ballad of Sir Robin.' Music and lyrics by Monty Python.