Toppins From Hell

I must've seen Mary Poppins a gazillion times when I was younger, and unfortunately all I can remember about it are two songs - specifically Dick Van Dyke singing the 'Chim Chiminey' song in a bad Cockney accent, and Julie Andrews (as Mary) singing "Toppins! Toppins! Toppins a bag!" The latter infuriated me because I couldn't figure out what the hell a toppin (sp?) was. I still had no idea up until about three years ago when a British co-worker of mine took offense at me even daring to ask.

"TWO PENCE!" she exclaimed. "God, don't you bloody Yanks know anything?!?!" And that ended that conversation - but only after I called her a surly bitch. Rudeness, I can take. Being referred to as a "Yank" is crossing the line.

Anyway, back to Mary Poppins. Despite the fact that I can only remember two songs (and I think there were some dancing penguins in there, weren't there? Help me out, here) I DO remember liking the film very much. I was young when I saw it, of course, and to my mind it was full of magic and wonder. It was most certainly NOT a scary film. I'm quite sure of it. So, how then, do we explain this?



Amazing what a little editing will do, isn't it? Some innocent things shouldn't be messed with. THAT is some scary stuff, amigos. Warped, yes. Brilliant, yes. But, above all - scaaarrrrryy. And, just in time for the holidays, too!

Go ahead. Watch it again. You know you want to...