Friday, July 29, 2005

Clean Up Your Links

A good afternoon to you hepcats, and a Happy Friday. Not much going on over here other than the typical jazz... gorgeous day, hardly anyone doing any work, but the eyestrain is heavy anyway due to the constant surfing and clock watching, etc.. I'd like to start today's post off with some really exciting news but quite frankly, I'm feeling too lethargic to think of anything and I don't know that I could muster the effort needed to type it anyway. So...... *sigh*......... what say you to a few Friday links?

Because my house is in desperate need of a cleaning, and I've been doing a little research on how to remove nasty stains (ground in dirt, grape juice, goat's blood, etc...) today's links will have a decidedly "Heliose's Helpful Hints" type of feel to them. Some of these I found on other blogs, some I found while using Google. Either way - let's get started, shall we?

I'm not exactly sure what this says about me, but I am ALWAYS having to tie my shoes. Seriously, they never stay tied regardless of the particular pair I'm wearing. You name it - size 8 Chuck T's, size 8 1/2 Skechers, single knot, double knot, short laces, long laces.. the friggin' things WON'T... STAY... TIED. I was therefore very grateful to stumble (literally) upon this link here. So - not only can I keep the damn laces in place, but I can look cool as hell doing it.

So - I wouldn't consider myself poor, but I'm not wealthy either. My apartment has furniture. Granted, 90% of it belongs to my roommate and was already in place when I moved in, but if I needed too, I could certainly buy a couch or a bed. This gentleman apparently can't. But, did that stop him from furnishing his apartment? Hell no!! He did the next best thing and made his own using supplies available for free from Fed Ex. Now - it does look as if has a few legal issues to resolve, and he has promised to post them at a later date. But in the meantime, we can enjoy his innovation.

As part of the house cleaning process this weekend I'll be changing my sheets. This process involves putting a new set on the bed as well as washing the old set and storing them away for future use. Unfortunately however, I paid little attention during 7th grade Home Economics (yet still got a B+) and am an unmitigated disaster when it comes to folding sheets. And yes, as you probably just guessed it's that friggin' fitted sheet that screws me all up. After about 30 minutes of messing around with the damn thing I usually wrap all the sheets into a ball and disgustedly throw them into the closet. No longer. Now I'm fully qualified to work at Bed & Bath. So go ahead and fire me! I'm multi-talented, dammit.

Dad - this one is for you. Hell, even the instructions sound like something you wrote. "Arrange the vertices such that no edges overlap." Math was never my forte. I was able to do the first one, spent about 10 minutes on the 2nd before chastising myself for not doing any work. We see now how effective that was... Still - I'm intrigued enough that I'll try again after I finish typing up this post.

I'm not much of a cook. I can cook a few things really really well (like chili), but the spectrum is not a broad one. For the most part my definition of cooking is, "Pour powder into water. Stir briskly." This generally does me fine. I eat a lot of prepared, canned and frozen foods, and healthy ones at that (God bless Whole Foods and Trader Joes.) I am good at cooking eggs though, in all their different permutations - except poached. I never really had much use for a poached egg, largely because I never knew what one was. I corrected that today. But, if I'm seriously going to learn how to poach an egg via the Internet, the instructions better provide some amusement. Those do.

Speaking of food. The fact that I can't cook doesn't mean that I don't make the attempt. I do - fairly often as it turns out, but I'm always buying shit only to wonder if it's gone bad on me. I'm always having to ask my roommate (a vegan who's always cooking up something interesting) whether or not he thinks this lettuce has gone bad, or that gallon of milk (cruel and sadistic, I know. Alas, he's never fooled.) Thankfully though, someone had the good sense to compile all the expiration dates for items you normally wouldn't think expire and post them all in one place. Now, my roommate need not worry about me asking him to "have a little taste of this fried bloody stump" to see if he thinks it's still OK.

I'm almost at the point where I'm going to stop getting my car washed. As I was mentioning to a group of friends yesterday, everytime I get my car washed, a bird will come along and take a dump on it the next day - WITHOUT FAIL. You think I'm exaggerating. No no. Always and literally the VERY NEXT DAY. Hell, it's even gotten to the point where the birds are saying, "Screw the car. Let's go after the guy!" I had a bird flying around my office yesterday (my office is in a basement... in the corner of the building.) I managed to get it out, but not before it launched a few kamikaze attacks at my face and took a crap on my monitor. No, I'm not kidding...... So, I'm about to say screw it. At this point, I don't care if I contract Legionnaires disease, I'll at least die with some money in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Care to practice your writing skills? I do. God knows I could use some. So, I'm heading over to Mass Fiction - a nifty little website which allows anyone who wants to add a paragraph to the previously written story - also written by people who wanted to practice their writing skills. Neat stuff.

Let's stick with the creativity theme. This is one of my new favorite sites. It lets you draw... well, whatever you want to draw. Create anything - and then watch as they spring to life before your eyes. Not artistic? Then mess around with someone else's drawing. Have fun.

Lastly, for those who are too lazy to surf around to different sites and see what the current headlines are, Linkwatcher does it for you. Now, back to work slackers.... or change your sheets or something.... Hell, at least go and enjoy the day. You heard me! Go away. Shoo.


Post a Comment

<< Home