Ride Em, Cowboy

When you get out of the habit of writing, the act of getting back into it seems a monumental task...

At least, that’s the way it feels at the moment, and I’m writing a simple blog post. I can’t imagine what a mess I’d be if I were writing a book. Still, I figure it’s time to get back on this ol’ horse again and nudge her into a slow trot. Question is… what’s fueling the horse? Easy. Hay. Ummm… O.K… but what kind of hay?

Aha! That’s the question. What do I write about? A quick glance on Boston.com (or not so quick as it turns out – I’ve spent the morning surfing the Internet due to both of my bosses being out today) reveals plenty of topics:

The Red Sox recent woes? NO. Absolutely not. Call me escapist, but if there’s one thing I don’t enjoy, it’s reading about how the Red Sox lost a game. Find another dupe, sports scribes.

Karl Rove’s resignation? Going to have to decline again. I can’t write about politics. I’m no good at it. I never have all the facts (nor do 99% of those who write about politics – something to keep in mind) and I’m too proud to have holes punched through my theories. Plus, political writing (and inevitable ensuing debate) is a tricky thing. It takes a sharp mind to distinguish between those who have a selfless interest in thorough explanation and analysis, and those who use political messages and rhetoric to do little more than scream, “I AM RIGHT!” and hope like hell they find some affirmation (here’s a hint: the former are usually calm.) I’m not well read enough to entirely make the distinction, and I don’t know that I could embark down the road of political discourse without becoming one of the latter. Plus, criticism is fruitless. If you want to do, then do – don’t whine (although I will say I found it rather telling that when asked what would be the first thing he’d do upon leaving the White House, Mr. Rove answered he would “go dove hunting.”)

How Boston is the “bloggiest” city in the U.S.? Well, duh! We’ve got more bloggers per square mile than McDonalds has franchises. Or, as House of Pain so eloquently put it in their early 90’s hit Jump Around, we’ve “got more rhymes than the Bible’s got psalms!” Kind of surprising actually, when you think of places like San Francisco & New Dork City. Why are we #1? According to the article “blogs thrive where locals are wired, well-educated, and obsessed with politics, a topic that inspires bloggers to unleash their prose.” Ugh. Well, maybe this isn’t a good thing, then (see above.) Let’s move on. Nothing new to see here.

The antioxidant properties of martini’s? No. Just… no.

Truth is I’m becoming a master of writing about having little to write about. Maybe I missed my calling. Maybe I could have been a writer for Seinfeld, if Seinfeld were monotonous and unfunny. Still, I can string random words together and still call it a post (and in fact, just did.) I can try to write something or I can just write it. The distinction is subtle, yet important, and Master Yoda tells us the latter option is preferable. In 2nd Empires, Chapter 7, Verse 6 he tells us "Do, or do not. There is no try." Who am I to disagree? When it all comes down to it, Master Yoda provides the hay, but... well, hay is still just hay. Nothing special about hay, man. It’s all what you do with it, and as far as this post is concerned, you can think of it as a chiffonade cut topped with Cool Whip. Or, I can search for a better metaphor. Either way, I'm glad to be back on the horse.

I Did It! I Did It!

Well, as of tonight the experiment is over, and I say it was a fairly successful one - successful enough that it'll continue for a little bit.

Yes, indeed. What I didn't mention in the above linked post was that I had a time frame in mind when I started doing this whole "post every day" thing. Although I didn't mention it because I didn't want to jinx myself, my goal was to write a post every day until I hit my birthday, and that day has (thankfully) arrived.

I've enjoyed posting every day, even though some days it was clearly a challenge. I used the "I needed something to post tonight" joke WAYYY too many times. I perhaps relied too much on YouTube clips, and maybe my topics were a bit dry, but I posted something every day for no other reason then I wanted to and I thought it was a good idea.

When you get out of the habit of writing, you, well... get out of the habit of writing. Personally, when I'm not doing in consistently, I can think of any number of things I'd rather do. Part of my posting every day was to see if I could do it (yes), but more importantly to see if I enjoyed doing it (mostly yes.)

So, my attitude now is, why not just continue with it? So, that's what I'll do. And looking at the time now, I have only a few minutes left in today to get this post in under the wire. That's all for now, folks, Catch you tomorrow.

Dear All, Please Step Off! Thank You! XO

When was the last time you got mad at somebody? I mean, like, really mad. You got in their face, called them all sorts of expletives, read them some sort of riot act (because they undoubtedly deserved it) and left them curled up in a ball in the corner, shaking with fear and horror.

You have to think about it, don't you? In fact, I bet you can't remember. I (unfortunately) can. It was just last week actually, and I remember it pretty well because it was the first time I'd gotten that angry in a long time. I won't go into the gory details - frankly, you'd be bored - but suffice to say, I'm still a little shocked by the whole thing.

I'm just guessing here, but I'd be willing to wager most people have similar experience. That it to say, long periods of emotional restraint punctuated by the occasional furious outburst. Those outbursts are necessary, but often times they're not enough. We all have other outlets. Some people exercise. Some people form addictions. Some people withdraw. And, some people leave notes.

Incidentally, that may be my new favorite website, for reasons that are, as yet, unclear to me. And no, I'm not the "Eric" who signed off on this particular novella. I have much better handwriting, and I'd like to think I'm not that much of a sanctimonious bastard.

Murky Words Mad Libs

Is it me, or has journalism gone to the dogs? Not all of it, of course. There's still a fair bit out there that worth reading, but when CNN.com cares more about the sisters' Hilton than, say, global warming, the war in Iraq, or the New England Patriots, then you know something is seriously wrong.

But it's not even that so much. In their (failed) quest for objectivity in journalism, most media outlets spew forth stories that all sound the same. It's as if they all have the same template, and they just fill in the applicable words.

And now, we have the template - or at least one of them. The Morning News has provided us with a sort of Mad Lib, which any journalist, aspiring or otherwise, can use for their next general interest piece. I gave it a shot and this is what I ended up with:


"The city was invaded by small balls over the weekend when a convention landed here, drawing 973,921 fans of Gymboree.

Slaphappy-T-Grunt, otherwise known as Gunther, a 64-year-old software engineer, was dressed in motley as he waited in line to pay the $81 fee to carouse, enjoy turkish delight, and discuss bat guano with others drawn to this, the greatest spectacle in the tri-state region involving Gymboree.

“This is it. This is the Olympics of Gymboree,” said Deiter, a 23-year-old video-store clerk whose mother drove him here all the way from Las Cruces for the event. “Everyone who’s anybody in the world of Gymboree would give his left nostril to be here with his co-equals.

“I spent the last 10 years of my life making sure I had every last large plastic ball, watched sweatshirts for 42 hours this week and spent $ 310 having my mom sew up this costume—all in preparation for this,” he said. “This is the most important thing in the world to me for reasons that will make absolutely no sense to me once I get a girlfriend. Unless, of course, she’s into this, too, in which case I’m going to become really weird.”

The co-founder of the event, Gertrude, a 46-year-old sheet folding-store owner, said the event would also feature sheet folding and a tarot-card reader.

“The rest of the world could really learn a lesson from this,” she said. “I mean, where else can so many different people of different backgrounds get together so peacefully and have a good time like this? Except for the Skeksis and Gelflings.”

While taking a break from popping zits, Arturo addressed the mainstream criticism of Gymboree fans as socially inept people who use their obsession with an inconsequential and unconstructive esoterica to escape from reality and avoid dealing with the challenges of improving their own lives or the world around them.

“We’re not geeks or Thoughtprints members,” he lisped. “We may be netherweavers, but we’re also human beings. If you prick us with a magic wand, do we not bleed? We’re not here in this soulless, overpriced and plastic-smelling convention hall just for the amusement of the quote-unquote mainstream with their 40-ounce beers, wildebeest in a bowl or gazelle in a cage. We’re here to be with other people like us, other people who are scared of the real world like we are. We’re here to be the mainstream for a brief few hours before we have to go back to a real world that relegates us to the fringes. Here we’re not freaks.”

With that, Slaphappy-T-Grunt lifted up his kettle and disappeared into a crowd of raisins.."

.....

Actually, never mind. There might be something to the study of journalism after all. Knew my alma mater was good for something...

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

So, uh, Eric... what gives, huh? What's with all the blog posts? Why you, uh, makin' like a keyboardist and tappin' all dem keys?

Glad you asked, amigo, because I was looking for something to post about tonight. The short answer is, I don't know. This time last Tuesday (or maybe it was Wednesday, I can't remember), I was sitting at my dining room table (which is, appropriately enough, where my computer/writing instrument is kept) thinking it had been way too long since the last post, and I just sort of decided, "What the hell? Why not just write something every day?"

So, that's what I started doing - and I might as well do it for the foreseeable future. You know - 200th post and all, blah, blah, blah. Really, I'm just self-centered, attention seeking, and looking for an outlet. So there.

A few people have complained, as they got used to the "once every two week post" and ended up checking in recently, only to find that there's way too much for them to read - even at work. Don't know what to tell you. Although, I will say that I'm still trying to get a handle on this "post every day" thing, and so you might find the topics a little boring. But hey, it's better than reading the most recent post 15 times. Oh, and I also may miss a day here and there, but not to worry. I'll be back in short order.

Anyway, glad I could at least milk this decision for a post tonight, seeing as I was fresh out of ideas. Tomorrow? Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe I'll just copy and paste what I just wrote. Now, there's an idea...

Murky Words: 200. Haters & Imitators: 0.

Know what this is? This here is post #200 on Murky Words. It took us two years, one month and thirty days to get here, but "here" we finally are. Although really, there's nothing final about it because, frankly, I see no reason to stop now. In fact, I feel like I'm only just getting started... or rather, I'm getting my second wind. Maybe that's it.

In any event, I won't sit here and reminisce about previous posts and days gone by. God knows I already link enough to my past stuff to make everyone a little sick. Plus, the archives are just over there to the right if you're really interested.

Nah - I'll continue to write here as long as all six or so of you continue to read. And even if you don't, well, I can always use the practice. Just thought, in the absence of anything else to write about today, I'd mark the milestone with, what else, a post. Word.

Say Hello To My Leetle Friends...

Apologize, folks. Introductions are in order. If you'll take a look in that sidebar over to the right, you'll notice that there are three new entries at the bottom of the 'Good Peoples' section. I can't just serve 'em up like that and not offer any explanation about them. So, here goes.

Greg's Climbing Blog - Greg is a guy I know from (what appears to be the now defunct) Milk St. Writers Group - which was never on Milk St. while I was a member of it. Maybe that's why it now appears to be defunct. Or, maybe it's because Greg was usually the only one who bothered to submit anything for others to critique. The rest of us usually claimed to be "too busy", and Tom, the guy who hosted the meetings week after week - in Somerville - always had an out because, well, he hosted the meetings (although he does deserve props for his devotion to Quisp Cereal.) Anyway, Greg is quite the mountain climber as well, and given his devotion to both that and writing (the absence of the writer's group notwithstanding), he's done a good thing by combining the two. His blog proves an interesting read, even if you're not into a climbing person (such as myself.) Greg is also in the habit of leaving nasty comments on other people's blogs (as he has done here on a few occasions), so feel free to return the favor while you're visiting.

The Mountain Biker - Yet another blog whose title says it all. The Mountain Biker is written by a gentleman who refers to himself as Snot Rocket - a more elegant moniker there never was - and like Greg, Snot Rocket is quite serious about his craft. He also has the added distinction of being my brother in law, although he'll probably be pissed at me for mentioning that, given that he's a little obsessive about privacy. Still, his is also a good read (and quite a scientific one as it turns out - physics anyone?) and if you're into mountain biking, give it a shot. Or, even if you're into pictures of really cute kids and sweaty mountain bikers, you can still give it a shot.

Adventures of a Whinging Pommy Down Under - We finally come to the Pommy, whatever that is. Mr. Pommy is another relative of mine - this one, my cousin Stuart. He's a Brit (hence the title of his blog. If you have any idea what it means, let me know. I'm surprised he didn't use the word toppin... er, tuppence.) Anyway, Stuart is now living in Australia and writing about it, along with a myriad of other topics. And, by myriad I mean American politics, which is interesting because the last time I saw him he went to great pains to explain to me why the United Kingdom is a far better place to live (Note: he won't get nearly as vehement an argument from me these days.) Anyway, I've always thought very highly of Stuart, and I very much enjoy reading his blog.

I hope you enjoy reading the adventures of my fine feathered friends, and check out their blogs from time to time. I'm also planning on updating the rest of the sidebar in the near future. The listening/reading/watching links will stay, but many of the Time Wasters are no longer Time Wasters (at least for me), and one or two of the Good Peoples, while still good, haven't updated their blogs in months (I know - the hypocricy!) Whatever - I just figured I'd keep it current. Enjoy, folks.